Tom Brady, the legendary quarterback from the New England Patriots, is many things. But one thing he is not is New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski.
It's a black and white fact that may have been grayed out by a newly unveiled wax statue of the handsome future hall-of-famer Brady.
Yes, the statue resembles Brady. But it may resemble his teammate even more closely. I mean, that is basically Rob Gronkowski's forehead and nose with Brady's chin and rugged yet meticulously-looking stubble.
NBC Boston sportswriter Raul Martinez on Tuesday called attention to some of the bogus renderings of Brady in recent memory. He called out the new wax figure, a terrifying serial-killer Brady mask and that infamous melting courtroom sketch of Brady from a Deflategate-related hearing.
One thing is clear at this point: Brady's perfect face was crafted by Satan himself and cannot be accurately reproduced by any human hand.
But the mere fact that some wax artist might conflate Brady and Gronkowski into some hydrophobic hell-spawn is telling. The pair have been teammates for several years and are among the most despised New England sports figures of the modern age.
After usurping injured good-guy Drew Bledsoe in 2001, Brady's evil mission has been to shatter every NFL passing record, and he's threatened to play well into his 40s to do so.
Gronkowski entered the NFL in 2010 and despite gruesome injury after injury, he continues to abet Brady's nefarious cause by bailing out the quarterback, catching wobbly passes thrown in desperation to avoid getting sacked.
Gronkowski recently admitted to adopting the same diet as Brady (it's a lot of vegetables, brown rice, souls of first-born virgins, etc.) so we're basically screwed indefinitely.
Photos: Twitter / RaulNBCBoston; Getty Images