Socialism conference has all the amenities, hypocrisy included

Don't let the socialists tell you that real socialism has never been tried, because this July, over the course of four whole days, the Marxist doctrine will finally be tried at the 4-Star Hyatt Regency McCormick Place in Chicago, for the Socialism 2018 national conference.

Get your tickets now.

$50 for student rate—must bring student ID!

$85 for early bird rate.

The "Solidarity Rate" will run you $150.

And, for $250, you can have the finest, most luxurious proletariat treatment imaginable with the Sustainer Plan. You know, "sustainer," like how the Soviets "sustained" crops during periods of collectivization?

RELATED: Chalkboard Lesson: What's the Difference Between a 'Social Democracy' and 'Democratic Socialism'?

The conference kicks off Thursday, July 5th with a speech from 3rd Wave Feminist Demita Frazier, whose speech is titled "Decolonizing Socialism: Getting Racially Organized so We can Get Free."

Here's a taste of what kinds of guests the audience can expect:

Through the lens of a Black radical feminist perspective, and using historical, cultural and material examples, the presenter offers cautionary tales, of brilliant failures and questionable successes, of progressive and radical organizations dedicated to a vision of radical economic equality. We will look at how the failure to address the full impact white supremacist hegemony has had and continues to affect the efforts at radical and progressive coalition-relationship building necessary for fundamental, substantive change in this country.

Yes, they actually talk that way. Sounds like a blast, right?

Speakers include: Amy Goodman, host of Democracy Now! and so-called journalist; a Pulitzer-prizing wining historian and professor; and Boots Riley, a rapper and director.

Hotel rooms will run you about $355—that's 24,814,502 Venezuelan Bolivars.

Hotel rooms will run you about $355—that's 24,814,502 Venezuelan Bolivars. Communist comrades can luxuriate in the one of the hotel's three restaurants, a hotel bar and a to-go cafe. Of course, comrades can have their food delivered via Istacart, or there's a Trader Joe's around the corner, for vegetarians, vegans and lactose intolerant.

But don't stray too far, the neighborhood around the luxurious hotel is a bit dodgy. No problem, comrades can stay in their rooms and enjoy the complimentary WiFi, functional plumbing, air conditioning, flat-screen television, proper bedding and gorgeous views of the sunset over Chicago.

Karl Marx would be proud.

This article originally appeared on Glenn Beck

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