Get out your Post-modern rulebooks, because we've got a fresh edition for you. This time, it's the University of Minnesota. The policy is so steeped in Post-Modern terminology that it practically prances off the page with a #RESIST hat on its head.
"Equity and Access: Gender Identity, Gender Expression, Names and Pronouns," which states that members of the academic institution "are expected to use the names, gender identities, and pronouns specified to them by University members."
Translation: College students can freely decide their gender, and any faculty who fail to respect students' highly malleable identity can face punishment.
All right, bear with me, because it's about to get even more nauseatingly pretentious, but it's important to decipher what they're actually saying so that we can respond tactfully. The policy reads:
Individuals may access gender-specific facilities that correspond with their gender identities and may participate in University activities and programs consistent with their gender identities including, but not limited to, housing, restrooms, locker rooms, recreation services and activities, and camp programs. Individuals will not be required to use gender-specific facilities that are inconsistent with their gender identities or to use gender-inclusive options because their sex assigned at birth or sex listed on legal documents differs from their gender identity or gender expression.
In short, anything goes, as long as each student's highly subjective gender reality is unwaveringly respected.
In short, anything goes, as long as each student's highly subjective gender reality is unwaveringly respected. I'd call it a satire if it weren't so over-serious.
In other news, the same group of students will likely host a parade in which they all don vulva-shaped beanies and march around a statue and curse President Trump for not letting them morph into any gender, race, or age they like, because…Science!
This article originally appeared on Glenn Beck