By Kathleen Perricone
Just in time for the weekend, Matthew Hussey, the host of iHeartRadio’s Love Life called in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to offer up his best advice.
Matthew’s new program, How to Get Your Ex Back … Or Get Over Him is guaranteed to help you rekindle an old flame or find the tools to move on to something bigger and better.
Why do people even want to get back together with their ex? “As human beings we have this desperate need for closure, especially if someone broke up with us,” explains Matthew. “If we still feel like there are feelings there, we want them back … we find ourselves gravitating back towards them. I should add an almighty disclaimer with this. The system I’ve created us to for everybody. Nine out of 10 people should not even want their ex back. But the people who think it ended for the wrong reasons and want to rekindle it, this is for them.”
Matthew explains that when someone is broken up with, they often feel like the other person is “the certain one … but they’re actually uncertain. The person doing the breaking up is usually incredibly uncertain and goes through what I call a ‘lag period’ and that’s the period being single hasn’t gotten good yet. They broke up, they’re not getting the benefits of this new life they thought they were walking into … and now they’re uncertain of themselves.
“They now begin desperately trying to get their partner back: They text them, they call them, they try to reinforce how much they love them … and all it does and push that person further away, and that’s the really sad thing. People always say, ‘Trust your gut,’ well your gut right now is telling telling you all these things that will lose you this person.”
So what does Matthew recommend? A no-contact period of at least 21 days!
“In this time, they need to feel the pain of not having you around while they’re uncertain,” he explains. “And it also give you time to build up your life so that when they do interact with you again, there’s a sense of mystery.”
Matthew also advises that people don’t use their social media platforms to boast about their single, wild life because that will only have the opposite effect on their ex. Instead of uploading photos of yourself letting loose at a club, “post a nice picture of you at somewhere like the farmer’s market. You’re still beautiful and doing your thing, but he’s like, ‘Oh my God, this is my dream woman. What am I doing giving this person up?'”
Despite the 21-day no-contact rule, there is a little wiggle room. Matthew suggests it’s okay to respond to a text message from your ex, just don’t initiate any “proactive contact.” For example, if your ex sends a text on Friday night to see what you’re up to, ignore it for an hour. And when you do reply, write: “Sorry I missed your text, just got out of the shower.”
“Everything about this text gets him thinking,” explains Matthew. “He’s now thinking, ‘Wait, it’s 8 o’clock on a Friday night. She’s showering, that means she’s going out. Who is she going out with?'”
But don’t just say that and stay home watching TV … actually go out! “It’s about building up your life. The beauty of that is if he doesn’t come back at the end of the day, you’ve built your life up anyway and you haven’t been waiting around. That’s the first step to getting over him.”
Matthew also answered relationship questions from callers … listen to the audio above to hear what advice he had for them!
To watch a free video tutorial, go to ExBackRoadMap.com or click the image below: